Why does it hurt so much to ask for love?
Studies have shown that people; want love, need love, can give or withhold love, can accept or reject love.
What studies and research have not established is -
- Why does it hurt so much to ask for love?
- Why does it hurt so much when people behave unlovingly?
In order to follow that line of reasoning I asked myself, ‘what other types of energies, besides love, cause me pain when I am deprived of them?’
And what immediately struck me – an anti-hunger activist for decades – is that when I am deprived of air, food, and water – nourishing energies – that also causes me pain.
And when I get air, food, and water I thrive, I feel warm and energized – exactly as I feel when people behave lovingly – when I feel loved. That was 30 years ago.
My conclusion was that our organism reacts to love, loving energy, exactly the way it reacts to other nourishments – leading me to postulate that love is in fact nourishment.
(This was confirmed almost 30 years later when an 8-year long study at the U. of N. Carolina was published in 2013 - Fredrickson)
Perhaps that is why we're so afraid to ask for love – we are afraid of being rejected – and not receive the nourishment we often feel deprived of.
This theory has momentous implications for our immune system, stress, marriage, parenting, aging, productivity, creativity, inner peace, and all your significant relationships.
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